Transactional Analysis (TA) believes that the blueprint for our adult personality and how we navigate relationships is largely drawn up in childhood. It's like we write an unconscious "life story" for ourselves based on our early experiences.

Here's how that happens:

Learning Our "Faces" (Ego States):

• The Child in Us: From the moment we're born, we experience the world, have feelings, and act spontaneously. This forms our Child ego state. Depending on how our caregivers respond, this can become:
  • Free Child: If we're encouraged to be curious, playful, and express ourselves, this part of us stays vibrant and authentic.
  • Adapted Child: If we're constantly told what to do, criticized, or ignored, we learn to adapt – either by becoming extra compliant and trying to please, or by rebelling. This adapted side can carry old feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, or defiance into adulthood.
• The Parent in Us: As we grow, we soak up everything from our caregivers – their rules, beliefs, attitudes, and ways of showing care or disapproval. This gets "recorded" in our brains and forms our Parent ego state. We might find ourselves later saying or doing things just like our parents did, without even realizing it. This can be the nurturing, supportive voice, or the critical, judgmental one.
• The Adult in Us: Our Adult ego state starts developing around age one. It's the part that learns to explore, figure things out, and deal with reality logically. It grows as we gain experience and learn to make sense of the world on our own, separate from our parents' rules or our childlike emotions.

Drawing Up the "Life Script": As children, we try to make sense of our world and figure out how to survive and get our needs met. Based on the constant messages we receive (both spoken and unspoken) and the reactions we get from important adults, we start forming an unconscious "life plan" or life script. This script isn't just about what we think will happen, but how we feel we're supposed to live our lives.

• Messages from Grown-ups: These are super powerful. A child constantly told "Don't be a burden" might grow up feeling they need to hide their needs. A child always praised for being "strong" might struggle to ask for help later. These messages, called "injunctions" or "drivers," shape our script.
• Early Decisions: In response to these messages, we make "decisions" as children about ourselves, others, and the world. These decisions are the best a child can do at the time, but they can become limiting as adults. For example, a child who felt ignored might decide "I'm not worth attention," which then affects their relationships as an adult.
• Fairy Tales and Stories: Even our favourite childhood stories or fantasies can give clues to our developing scripts, as we often identify with characters or plotlines that echo our own inner world.

So, in a nutshell, our childhood is the crucial period where we build the foundations of our personality (our Parent, Adult, and Child selves) and write our personal "life script." TA helps us uncover these early influences, understand why we keep repeating certain patterns, and gives us the tools to revise our script and live a more fulfilling adult life, rather than just acting out an old, unconscious story.